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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Loving Life, Loving Loved Ones and Remembering The Time We have is Precious

Today's blog is a bit on the serious side, but don't thumb through without reading until the end. There are a lot of great pictures and amazing stories to read and photos to look at. Hopefully it will inspire you and remind you to literally live, laugh and love!
My Mother, we affectionately call her JuJu, will be 70 years old this year. She is an amazing Mother, a great friend and would lay down her life for any of her children. This past year, November 7, 2009, my eldest Brother, Shawn Dean, succumbed to his five year battle with cancer. He had acute leukemia-a bastard of a disease!
I watched my almost 70 year old mother venture into a new business this week, working hard and shedding tears when she found moments of solitude. She called me several times this week recalling places we had been with Shawn and homes we had once lived in and other nostalgic prompts of that nature. I find myself the constant encourager, a referee in a terrible balance of whoa. I, Brooke, her youngest child am battling my own careless, hateful, all-consuming monster. I keep the truth from her, my Mother, my family and even Steven, I keep the entire truth from them.
I keep it from them to keep them from suffering. Every day I seize, sometimes several times a day, every day, more and more of my hair falls out of my head in knots. I used to have such long beautiful hair. Like a willow tree in the Summer. Now, it is like an old broom stick with broken bends. I am dying. We aren't sure why, or when, but slowly I am slipping.
I go to the Dr. once a week and he tells me the same thing. I have been over exposed to radiation and there is a cluster of tumors growing at the base of my brain. Rapidly. They make me forget time and cause my eyesight to fade into shapes and colors. They deprive me of stability of mind, cause swelling and depravity of soundness of heart.
I have never known a love like the one I know with Steve, and I am so frightened that I will never get the chance to travel with him, marry him, have a child with him or make him the happiest man in the world. He so deserves that chance. I pray that god will grant me a miracle of long life with him, for I love him so purely and with so much truth. He deserves the world around twice! Cruel isn't it? How I finally fall in love and I become so sick that I am not worthy of love in return? Yet he loves me with such passion and fervor that I feel I am so powerful I can overcome all of this! I would give anything to turn the clock back or know how long I have to love him, make my Mother feel better-help her heal, tell all my nieces and nephews how great their uncle and grandpapa were and see some more of this great round world, but I am determined to live as well and as hard as I can!
I dream of better days. I wish I could go to Hawaii like my Brother did before he died. I hope that all the people I leave hear will find joy and peace in life and I pray that the world will learn from my story to live, laugh and love now......because you may not have tomorrow, take it from me, I think I have a good perspective on this particularl situation. Love those dear to you! Honor your family and friends! Remember that God only ask us to honor Him and your neighbors. How would you live if you knew your clock was running out of battery? Just a gentle reminder-food for thought- to love each other! God Bless!

Peace, Love and Rockets!-B

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Color me Silly...........How difficilt was made simple by a 7 year old.



Today's story is one that reminds me of humanity. How wonderful and simple life can be and how moments pass without ever being acknowledged for what they are. Simple humor. Medicine for the broken heart, laughter for a group of friends, joy for a family? sometimes humor comes from the most unexpected places, and at the most unexpected times. Sometimes, we find ourselves crying and then roaring into a mess of laughter afterwards and other times we laugh so hard we cry right? Well, that is what today's story is about......



About 5 years ago I got a call from my eldest brother, Shawn. Shawn always was the jokester in our family! I remember growing up all too well, being the youngest I was often subjected to the most torture. Most days you could find me upside down, being held by my ankles and used as a mop to clean the kitchen floor. Other days you could find me duct taped to the tree house or locked in the hen house- with the hens! I guess it made me tough. So, when my brother called and told me he had acute leukemia and 90 days to live, I replied, "That is not a funny joke Shawn." when I realized he wasn't joking, my heart sank and I never knew life the same from that moment on. I finished School, graduated, packed up and moved west to be near him. He fought it. He fought it for nearly 4 and half years until he had no fight left. Last November, my eldest Brother, Shawn, passed from this life to the next. God rest his soul.


The last few hours in the hospital were the most difficult, but God sent an Angel in the form of my great Niece and my brother's Granddaughter, Tabby. She simply walked up to a huge group of people whom were crying and grieving the loss of Shawn and she said, "Don't cry everybody, now Beeps(thats what she called my brother) can golf in heaven." Amazing isn't it. that a child can remember something he enjoyed so much and see him doing that in the next life. So pure and so innocent, and every person that the statement fell on their ears laughed. We laughed with fervor and joy. So remember to find the joy in even the most difficult of situations. For laughing at your pain sometimes heals it!

Peace, love and rockets-Steeboo
Hope you enjoy this video i made called "Family Handed Down" and appreciate those you love extra today!